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37
Calgary Canada
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When were you at your weakest: The weakest time in my life was growing up around age 11 through 17. I was the fat girl in school, I had horrible acne so was frequently teased and felt isolated much of the time. I never had many friends, and at times, had none. Certainly none of the boys even glanced at me so having a boyfriend wasn't even something I ever considered a possibility. My self esteem took a beating and I'm still very affected by this today as an adult. My family wasn't the kind to speak openly about feelings, and I can't remember any expressions of love from my parents either physical or verbal, so it was an extremely lonely and painful time. I wanted to end my life many times just to put a stop to the endless hurt I was feeling.
When were you at your strongest: I can't say I've ever truly felt like a strong person, but when I try to look at my life from the outside, I think moving to a new city where I knew nobody, starting my career and now running my own business, takes a pretty strong individual. It's not exactly any one event where I've felt strong, but being able to carry on in life without a family support system, I think I've done o.k.
How are you feeling now: Today, I feel like things are mixed. In some areas, I think I've been successful – in others, I see myself as a miserable failure. As my career has gone along quite well, I find in relationships I'm much more of a disaster. I do have a handful of close friends, and for them, I feel truly thankful. But I still find myself pushing people away for fear I'm going to be hurt. I have little to no contact with my family anymore, though I would like to. But we are so detached from one another, I don't see how that can happen. I have moments I feel confident and happy, and others I still feel like that insecure little girl that nobody really cares for.
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53
Belgium
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When were you at your weakest: After being the strongest in my family, having to take care for my ill husband and my children, to hear that the man I trusted betrayed me. I felt a looser, since I could not do what my parents did: have a happy marriage. As long as I had my family, I could be the tiger for everyone attacking my family, after the break I felt lost. Not even able to take care of myself. All energy was gone, I felt emphty. For months I could hardly sit up and it took courage later to go out again and face the rest of the world.
When were you at your strongest: At my daughters wedding. Standing there single but knowing I was loved and respected by my children, enjoying the happiest day of my child. So proud to stand there and felt I did it! I made sure my kids didn't loose their trust in love and I raised children that are social, wonderful people. I realised I'm not a loser, but did my task in life very well. My task for her was over, it was time to let go and she would lead her new life in her new family. I made it clear she would always have that second home, with me. For months before, even till the evening before, I found this wedding the hardest thing I would have to face again. Later it became my strongest moment and a happy time. I met there some people of my ex-family again and for the first time I felt the respect also from them, great moments.
How are you feeling now: Still searching for my destiny. My children have their own lives. I enjoy the grandchildren and my friendships. I hope one day I can meet my soulmate and feel that special love. But if God has other plans with me, I will follow the road.
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56
California
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When were you at your weakest: My weakest point in my life was when I was going through a divorce and I was fighting for custody of my son who at that time was 3 years old. My ex-husband was abusive to me and I had realized I could no longer live that way. I was broke and could not afford all the attorney's fees. I felt that I would lose my son because my ex-husband had more money then I did. I was not able to take my son on vacations or take a day off from work. The most difficult part was that my son did not want to live with his dad, he would cry everytime he had to go with him. The custody dispute lasted 9 years.
When were you at your strongest: I was at my strongest when I had decided to become a Paralegal and I began to fight for custody without an attorney. I am happy to say that after 9 years my son was finally able to live with me. There were times I began to lose hope but I became strong for my son.
How are you feeling now: I feel good about who I am and the journey that I took to get me here. I have had a lot of difficulties in my life but I chose not to be a victim of life's circumstances. My son is 31 years old and I could not be more proud of him for what he had to endure in his young life.
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27
Belgium
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When were you at your weakest: When I was starring my teenage years. I was taken advantage of,sexually. When I was 19, I fell for someone, but he just ended up using me. I did something I never could have imagine I would do, I still feel such shame thinking about it and I hope God will forgive me. He made me perform oral sex on him. I have never felt more betrayed, ashamed, used and misled then I did then. I never wanted anything to do with him ever again. The pain I felt and STILL do is indescribable. NO ONE should ever feel that kind of hurt.
When were you at your strongest: I 'survived' a broken relationship. My ex fiancée broke the engagement and all my dreams and hopes were shattered, as if I didn't mattered.
He left me, dumped me like a bag of trash. And it came all of a sudden. I survived that. I stayed strong, I had my family and friends who comforted me, and I know that was my strongest time.
How are you feeling now: Tough question. How I'm feeling now? I do feel blessed & surrounded by my closest relatives and friends... I have everything that I need. I have a roof over my head, food in my stumach... I have freedom to do what I want whenever I want. But still...
Lonley: I haven't got a partner, on who I can depend, to share my intimate feelings with. I feel as if I'm not worthy of having one. There is a void in my life, that I can't fill. I always dreamed of being a young mother. I am 27, almost 28. I have no one or nothing that really matters - no one that I can take care of.
Lonley. Wanting to share my love with that special someone - before the love I have will flow away..
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29
Frontenac, KS
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When were you at your weakest: The day before I went to drug rehab. I pick that day because even though the day I went was horrible, and I didn't want to go, I was finally on the right road. I have 10 years clean now, but I was weakest the moment before I made a decision to better my life.
When were you at your strongest: The moment I realized that I knew who I was and I knew that I could once again feel proud of me. It was a couple of years into recovery and I was beginning my family. I held my daughter and I thought, now I'm strong for her.
How are you feeling now: I feel powerless sometime, but ultimately I am a work in progress. I think that you should always proclaim how you feel and own it, because for all those moments we feel weak and venerable there are moments we feel blessed and grateful. I have to remember that I need to laugh, and put this into perspective.
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34
Corona, CA
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When were you at your weakest: I was at my weakest when I let a horrible decision that I made when I was 17 beat me down into depression and make me want to end my life. The hurt and pain was too much to bear and because this decision is irreversible, I felt trapped. During my darkest moments, this situation still haunts me and I hope that I will conquer it once and for all one day.
When were you at your strongest: I am at my strongest when I know my daughters are fully depending on me. I go into Superwoman mode and nothing and no one can bring me down. It is only through the Lord that I can find this strength.
How are you feeling now: Right now I'm feeling like I'm closer to my life long goals but having a hard time getting over the last hurdle. I have moments when I lose my patience and want to give up but deep down, I know I've come much too far. I have big hopes for the new year.
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32
North Carolina
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When were you at your weakest: I was at my weakest in 2002. I was 24 years old and very much in love with a man that I knew in my heart was not treating me like the valuable woman I was. When I became pregnant, I was overjoyed. He was not. A few months later, I became homeless and lived in a shelter. Even though, I was still excited and overjoyed at the thought of the life I carried. I had forgotten everything but the gift God was giving me. One morning, when I was about 5 months along, I was awakened by an increasing pressure. Soon after, my water broke. I was rushed to the hospital, where I lay for a week alone and scared. I called the father and he refused to come to see me, which was amazing after having dated him for 3 years. I was far away from family and friends and terrified. Finally, I was told there was nothing left for me to do and I had to deliver my baby. My son was delivered, but he had already passed from infection. I was alone, heartbroken, and depressed. I spent many nights unable to sleep afterward and seriously considering suicide.
When were you at your strongest: I was at my strongest just a few months after my tragedy. I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and started again. I found a new confidence in myself and knew that I had been through the absolute worst that life could throw at me.
How are you feeling now: I'm beaten and worn. And some days I feel like giving up. But my faith in God keeps me standing.
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49
France
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When were you at your weakest: On 4 occasions :
- When I found myself all alone in a foreign country at the age of 24, with no money, nowhere to sleep, nothing to eat, and very very far from home …
- When my first son was born, and I felt completely unable to take care of him, he seemed so little, so frail, and the feeling that his life depended on me was very frightening …
- When my beloved mother passed away very unexpectedly 13 years ago, and my whole world collapsed, and I felt like a very little girl abandoned in this big big world …
- When I left my husband because he was severely depressed and became an alcoholic. I moved with my 3 children and my niece, aged 10 to 18; I had to take care of them all and had no money, no house, nothing. It was really frightening to handle this situation all alone.
When were you at your strongest: Strangely enough, I would say on the same 4 occasions … because then I had no choice but to find out my own strength within me in order to cope with the situation. I realized then that I was strong, that I could get out of it. That's when I also found out that the more you give, the more you get from people. I learnt then that you must not expect anything from people unless you show them some real concern, some love. Then they give their everything to you …
How are you feeling now: Today I feel at peace, because I finally know who I am, and where I stand. Michael Jackson helped me a lot about it. Everything about MJ echoes within me. He put words and music on my very own feelings about love, life, people, and my concerns for the future. He brought Faith back in my life. I spent my whole life just besides him without paying real attention to him, just enjoying his music from time to time. And then, he died …and I still cannot explain it, but his death left me devastated beyond words… and at the same time it opened my heart wide . I'll be forever thankful to MJ. Today I'm not afraid of death anymore, because now I know he's waiting for us all on the other side, and he'll welcome each and everyone of us with a tender hug … In the meantime, I'm doing my best to put some love in everything I do.
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13
Nevada
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When were you at your weakest: I started struggling in school in 6th grade because the teacher that I had always put us down and expected us to be at a college level of understanding everything. Then, my friend died and it became worse because I didn't care about anything and the consequences caught up with me after the first quarter was done and the people I thought cared about me ended up showing that they really don't care. I ended up going into a depression turning into a pessimist,but I never wanted to show anybody so I put on a fake smile and when I forgot to put it on and people asked why I looked so sad I would put it back on or if it was someone in my family, I would get mad because they wouldn't stop asking me about why I looked sad. Once Michael Jackson died it reminded me of the time when i lived with my mother and life seemed perfect and my family barely got into arguments that got out of control I felt even sadder, but I didn't want it to show, so kept putting on a fake smile until all the sadness, stress, and all other negative feelings just built up and I couldn't take it anymore and just exploded especially the tears because I don't like crying around people so I just let everything out and each time my dad said something about taking me to see a psychiratrist(sp) but it never did happen.
I wanted to cut myself and I would of too if it wasn't for the fact that I'm afraid of cutting myself especially since my sister accidentally cut her wrist on a broken plate (I'm still freaking out about it, but she isn't) . Even though I didn't cut myself I still found a way to cause myself physical pain without drawing blood by hitting my self (I ended up thinking about it and how stupid It was to do something like that)
When were you at your strongest: I was my strongest this year actually. I thought things through, asked myself why I did things that I did and how i could fix them. I watched the Tyra Show and she made me feel great about myself, I went to church camp and felt the love radiating from everybody there and started going to church all the time after that. I learned not to let my friends pressure me and to forgive my dad of anything bad that he's done for me because I know he loves me dearly. I made friends that would always be there for me and wouldn't make fun of me no matter what and I'm finally letting my feelings come out a little bit and letting my father know more about me. Also, I've been trying to smile with my heart instead of wearing a mask and to never give up no matter how difficult something can be. I've also been able to talk to my mother who doesn't live with my dad, sister, or me and life has just been wonderful.
How are you feeling now: I'm feeling slightly bipolar, but that's slipping away bit by bit and i'm just simply happy nowadays. i also feel like I've aged quite a bit from writing this too, but I know I haven't aged that much.
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31
london, england
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When were you at your weakest: I dont no where to start:- maybe it was growing up a (fat) girl and getting called names by my mother and so called friends, being bullied and then the bullier, maybe living a nightmare with her and her husband who both liked to drink and make fun of me,and beat my brother, maybe when i was an unruley, thoughtless, teenager doing drugs and thieving from shops and family, maybe the loss of my beloved grandfather who was like my father,(that broke me)..maybe then having a miscarrage with my partner who didnt care, maybe through my early 20's when i then lost my father to drugs, maybe then having a string of bad, abusive relationships, maybe then getting raped-quite a few times by different people over those bad years, maybe while taking hard, class a drugs and being involved with prostitution,to pay for the class a drugs to forget my life, maybe then nearly loosing my long term partner, then actually loosing my mother, maybe still then trying to beat the class a drug habit and become a better person, and then trying to get out of the prostitution to pay for that habit,and getting away from a partner who beat me for doing nothing but try to help him and us, maybe then having my brother in and out of prison most of his life and feeling desperate for change, through to my late 20s, maybe then actually loosing my long term partner (for the last 8 yrs, to an accident that could have been prevented, actually only last month (nov 2010), maybe theres a whole lot of times in my life ive wanted to die,or just go somewhere else to be someone else. live a different life or no life at all.
When were you at your strongest: mainly in all those times in my answers above i have had my beautiful grandmother who has stuck by me through thick and thin...weather ive known that at the time or not...she is my world. i have had a very hard upbringing and have definatly made the wrong choices in my life so far or even maybe, those wrong moments have found me and my life, some i had control over and i took the wrong path, sometimes i look back and i had no control, but out of all the bad, now i am a wonderful person inside and out and i no i deserve to be loved and i will find happiness one day and have children of my own and be happy with my life. i feel i do have a lot of things to still be happy about and grateful for....there are people worse off than me. its been these last few yrs that have made me the woman i feel i am today for the better,and its now, i choose those past experiences to be put to rest that helps me get thru another day as i always say.....u cant change ur past only ur future...
How are you feeling now: strangley unloaded, but the same-(if that makes sence?)....its very strange to see my life written out in just a few sentances in such stark, eye opening words but life is not easy, some people are what they are and others will change and want to make life better and i think its what we choose to do with our experiences that mould the person we choose to be...i am loved by the family i have and i no my life is on the up, i have to make better choices, i have to make it fulfilling for me, that way i no i will make it one day. i draw strength from somewhere,and how u all choose to interperate that strength is up to u, i no i have my angels.
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