Index

Age: 42, Location: Rochester,NY

When were you at your weakest:
Iam at my weakest when my situation or situations are beyond my control.

When were you at your strongest:
Iam at my strongest when I believe in the unbelievable,and achieve the unachievable.

How are you feeling now:
Iam feeling confused and a little unsettled about losing so many young and talented artist,actors and,actresses. Most of all Iam missing Michael Jackson and can't believe he is gone.

Age: 20, Location: New Hampshire

When were you at your weakest:
After I was raped the first time.

When were you at your strongest:
When I moved away from home and realized I could be OK on my own.

How are you feeling now:
I'm in the middle of a relapse right now. I want so desperately to get out of it, feel happy and not want to drink or use, but I just don't know how.

Age: 32, Location: ohio

When were you at your weakest:
I have late stage chronic lyme disease. It took years to figure out, years of tests, doctors, medications, over 60 symptoms I deal with on a regular basis. We had our children right before all of this hit, I had some things going on, but thought not much of it. Going thru treatment was brutal. I have been throwing up for over 5 years, I live with pain that can't be described, partial amnesia, I could go on and on. What breaks my heart is that my beautiful children have never known me well. That they have seen mommy come home with drainage tubes hanging out of me from countless surgeries. That I can't be the mom I always dreamed of being. It's a continuing battle I deal with, as I had to stop treatment it was so hard on my body, and I have a long way to go still. My father died when I was 9. My daughter is fast approaching that age, and my son close behind. I don't want them to have to live thru the loss of a parent as such a young age. I'm not afraid to die, but I am afraid for them. I work thru this with my strong faith in God, and give it all to him.

When were you at your strongest:
Ironically my weakest and strongest points are kind of the same. Since finding out that I have late stage chronic lyme disease I have reached out to literally thousands of people, helping them to find doctors, figure out what's going on in their bodies, and offer support whenever I can. I have met some of the most wonderful people that I never would have known had this not happend. I've realized how strong I am thru all of this. I will be literally throwing up in my car, waiting to pick my kids up from school, many times going on days of no sleep at all, and a myriad of other horrific symptoms that I deal with daily, but I am ALWAYS there for my children. I am the one other mom's call and say ""I'm tired can you pick up so and so"", and I do. I do more than most healthy people, I push myself hard. I have found a real relationship with God thru all of this. I have met my best friend, a treasure in my life, although we have never seen eachother face to face, we so look forward to that first hug. I've realized what is really important in life. I realized that there are always people out there who need help, and if I can help, then I will. Very rarely will you hear ""I can't"" come out of my mouth.

How are you feeling now:
I feel truely blessed. I have a husband who has stood by my side thru years of chronic illness. Many people in my situation have ended in divorce, but it's only made us stronger. I have two of the most amazing, compassionate children in the world. I have learned who my real friends in life are. I have a real relationship with God. All because of what most would call a nightmare. Don't get me wrong, I want nothing more than my health. But I have definitly learned a LOT thru this journey. I'm learning how to enjoy the ride of life, not just the destination. I've learned not to get into the ""when"" game. ""when I feel better, then I will _____"". There is never a better time than right now. Enjoy each minute for what it is. Trust you are right where you are supposed to be.

Age: 52, Location: Mission Hills, CA

When were you at your weakest:
I was the weakest when I was raped and realized it was a situation that not only could I not escape immediately but not in the short-term past the event itself either. I knew it would take years to be truly free because I was not going to become an addict or prostitute but I would have to build myself into someone who could figure out how to escape not just from the continual abuse but to create a space someplace in the world where I could exist the way that I believed that I should.

When were you at your strongest:
I believe I am the strongest now that I have ever been. I have become stronger and stronger and it feels like it is an exponential growth.

How are you feeling now:
I feel empowered in that I have actualized my own motto that my happiness is not dependent on what anyone else does or is. And I can do things on a daily basis that are meaningful to me.

Age: 30, Location: Australia

When were you at your weakest:
I was weakest when I had memories bubbling up from nowhere that were frightening and made no sense. Once I started realising they were memories of past abuse, I got into self harming and felt suicidal. I didn't see the point in living and couldn't put up with the pain any longer.

When were you at your strongest:
When I came out with the truth to my family. I was strong enough to tell them with the same fear in me that they would't accept it or me. I was strong enough to tell the truth. And my family believed me. What I feared most was that they wouldn't. But they did.

How are you feeling now:
I am good now. I am much stronger. I have taken many hits since that time. I almost died due to someone else's negligence which has left me needing to readjust a lot of things and how I can live my life as closely as it was before. I have accepted things have changed now and I'm ok with it. I have a son who has medical problems himself and being on the rollercoaster of testing has been hard, and getting a diagnosis which wasn't a good one. But I am strong for him. He is my world and I will protect him to the best of my ability. I have a little guy to live and be strong for. He's my world, and I am determined that he will have a much better childhood than I did.

Age: 62, Location: Pennsylvania

When were you at your weakest:
I WAS AT MY MOST WEAKEST WAS WHEN MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY, SHE HAS BEEN GONE NOW ALMOST 18 YEARS AND UP TO THIS DAY, I STILL MISS HER.

When were you at your strongest:
WHEN MY 1ST GRANDSON WAS BORN. HE IS ALMOST 18 NOW AND HE IS MY HEART.I NOW HAVE 3 GRANDSONS AND I CHERISH THEM WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL.

How are you feeling now:
I FEEL BLESSED BECAUSE I HAVE MY FAMILY, MY HEALTH AND GODS' INSPIRATION IN MY HEART AND TO ME THAT IS A GREAT FEELING KNOWING THAT YOU CAN GET UP IN THE MORNING AND SAY ""THANK YOU LORD FOR MY LIFE ONCE AGAIN"".

Age: 17, Location: Miami, Arizona

When were you at your weakest:
I was at my weakest when I found out what he was doing to me was wrong. I was 5 years old so I didn't understand what was going on, but part of me knew it was wrong. I just didn't want to believe it. He was some one I knew and cared for. I never thought he would do anything to hurt me. So, when I found out I was right, that what he was doing was bad, that he had betrayed me, I was crushed. That's when it really sunk in, and that's when it really hurt. I still have moments when I find myself depressed and unsure, when the pain comes back. I do my best to work through it, but sometimes it seems that just isn't enough. Probably the only reason I've never ATTEMPTED suicide, is because I've always believed that it's the cowardly way out. I already feel like a disgrace to my family when these feelings arise, but even then I refuse to stoop that low.

When were you at your strongest:
I'm at my strongest when I finally work past my depression. Usually I remind myself of my family and friends and how much I love them. I remind myself that I depend on them and will always be there if they need me, even when I feel like the don't love or need me.

How are you feeling now:
Right now I'm going through another of my depressive episodes. Hopefully, I should be working my way out of it soon.

Age: 25, Location: Wapello, Iowa

When were you at your weakest:
Throughout my whole life, from the time I was a little girl, even into my adulthood years, I have had a physically, mentally & emotionally abusive mother. I have things said about me posted on Facebook by her & her friends, things said about me by people who don't even know me, all because of what they have heard from my mother. She has taken me to court this most recent February & lied about me in court trying to gain grandparent visitation over my child when me & my daughter's father, my husband, should be the ones who have the say-so in who sees our child. We know who is right for our child to be around & who is wrong. We won this lawsuit, however, we have a $3,915.00 attorney bill due to her when we never ask to go to court. My mother is a physically violent person with everyone around her. She does drugs & denies it. She has smoked marijuana in front of my daughter & D.H.S. did nothing about it. She has let her boyfriend use the bathroom in front of my daughter when she was in the bathtub &, once again, D.H.S. has done nothing about it. She has stolen things on our property. She has thrown nails in our driveway. She has had people use fake IDs to call my husband's work to get information about us or to get my husband on the phone. She has gone to places that I worked at & told them I do drugs. She has written messages all over our car. She has instilled negative things about me & my daughter's dad in my daughter's head from the time she was 2 years old to the time she was 5 years old. She has driven endlessly past our house spying on us. She has befriended our neighbors to get information about us. She has called my daughter's current school to say negative things about me to my daughter's teachers & to try to get information out of them about our daughter & ourselves. She has accused my husband of being a pedophile. She has followed me through town to get me pulled over. She has posted on her Facebook account how she hopes I can't have kids ever again. She has followed my family through town to the stores we once shopped at to cause problems inside the store with us. She has told my mother-in-law that if she would have gotten to my husband first, she would have had him, & that I didn't deserve my husband. She has turned my own mother-in-law against me, as well as her own son, my husband... Now, my mother-in-law is deceased as of November 7th, 2010, & she played into my mother's games & had to live with it until she passed away... She does all this to get our daughter taken away. The police, to this day, have not given us a restraining order nor have they pressed harassment or stalking charges against my mother even when I demanded charges be filed. We moved North a half an hour from where we once lived & my mother continues to follow us. Our police officers in our county will do nothing & one particular one we believe is friends with my mother, relays back any & all information about us to my mother. He argues with us when we call in reports acting as if we're making everything up & won't check into it even though we have read up on 3rd Degree Harassment. I have heard from my mother so many times of how bad of a mom I am. My own mother has also befriended most of my old friends on her Myspace & Facebook accounts. She even tried to befriend all of my current friends. I had to warn all of them about her & what she would do. Anybody who hasn't listened to me, I have stopped being friends with. I put up with these things daily from my own mother. I have no contact with my mother's or father's side of the family because all she has done is put lies in their heads & they have believed every word of hers.So, currently, there are times I am still at my weakest. Anything involving my mother gives me anxiety, depression, nervousness. We no longer shop in the town we once lived in for fear of running into my mother, her friends or anyone else who is going to cause problems. But to be completely honest, I was at my weakest before my husband's mother passed away. Sadly, she too, posted lies about me, spread rumors, spread my business around, caused me & my husband marital problems & testified against me in court for my mother for grandparent visitation. Now that she is no longer able to do any of the things she was doing to us, I feel God has had some mercy upon us & witnessed everything we have been put through by these people.

When were you at your strongest:
I am currently at my strongest now. I have also been at my strongest after grandparent visitation was denied to my mother, but not more than now. I am saddened by my mother-in-law's passing, but I am also relieved. I feel like I have had a weight lifted off of me that wasn't suppose to be there. My husband & I can actually breathe for once without feeling like our every breath is watched by his mother & everyone else. There is one less person to cause problems in our marriage. One less stress there that has caused us many times to talk, argue & scream about divorce. I now can have a better relationship with some of my in-laws & straighten out the truth about what my husband's mothers has said about me. I am now at my strongest & have never felt better.

How are you feeling now:
I am 25 years old. I am a stay-at-home mother. I don't smoke cigarettes, I may have a responsible alcoholic drink once or twice a year, if that. I don't do drugs. My husband & I married June 17th, 2006. We were together long before that. My husband follows by all of the same things above that I do. He works a full-time job & makes good money at what he does. We share one beautiful daughter who is 6 years old. She is our world. She is in 1st grade & gets amazing grades. She is enrolled in a Talented & Gifted class where she's 1 of 3 1st graders out of around 40 1st graders that got invited to the class. We are 100% involved with our daughter's schooling. We tell our daughter every day to be nice to all kids even if they aren't nice back, & if they aren't nice back, to leave them alone & stop talking to them. We also do our part to prevent bullying of our daughter by either making necessary calls to other kids' parents or knocking on the right doors it takes to get our point across. So far, we have had success with addressing the parents of the children who like to bully children around.We currently live in the country in our dream home on a bluff by a lake, however, we are looking to move further North to have a newer start & further distance ourselves from meddling people. We have had no luck yet, but hopefully soon, we will have.I have never felt better in my whole life. I have an amazing husband & a gorgeous daughter with who I share my life with. They've known how great of a mom I truly am & they wouldn't be here if they didn't believe in me. For these two important people in my life, I am so thankful to God for giving me people to walk with in my long battle for peace, tranquility & freedom... Thank you for letting me share my story.

Age: 42, Location: Willingboro, NJ

When were you at your weakest:
The day I realized that I was being malested, and the day I was mugged and then raped in Bronx, NY. It is such long stories, let alone I was being physically abused at home. Within those moments of time, I was 10 when Malested,but between all of that, the physical abuse started @ age 8, til 21 years og age, but the mugging and rape took place when I was 18. I was so done with NYC and my so called life, that I made the choice to leave NYC.

When were you at your strongest:
It was at that moment, knowing I could leave all that abuse behind, made me feel so powerful at that time and moment, but I felt it even more when I boarded a flight to Tampa, Florida. I could feel safe!!!!!!!I felt safe and strong when I was performing on stage and having my own space (my own home)

How are you feeling now:
I feel alone now!!!! I live my sisters, and my oldest sister, sometimes treats me knid of mean, and makes me really feel alone.